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I was from what people would label as a middle class family.  I was a quiet, shy, introvert who never wanted to be around other people. I was a loner, doing my own things, had very few friends and was not involved in many group activities. I did well in school, but was ridiculed for my looks, my clothing, my grades, etc.  It was an average childhood, but not always a pleasant one. I was raised with church beliefs and attended every Sunday, yet, I was completely ignorant to the Gospel and Jesus.  I knew the stories, but did not know Him.

As the years passed, I went to college, studied martial arts, was imbedded in eastern philosophy and was fascinated with Zen Buddhism. I graduated, got a good job, got married and thought I had the world in my hands…. I was so wrong!!  I was married for 6 years when my wife, though various events and on my 30th birthday, decided she didn’t want to be married anymore.  My world came crashing in.  My life revolved around wife, my work, scuba diving and martial arts... there was nothing else.  I closed off even more after she left, started drinking and retreated more into my own shell.  Being alone now I did not know what to do. I needed a place to turn, and for some reason I returned to my roots and to the church. Though I did not realize it at the time, God was talking to me and I was listening.

Through God’s own grace He placed people in my path to guide me in the right direction. But, it was one of my martial arts instructors who invited me to a meeting for Single / Single Again people.  Though I trusted him, I was scared, nervous and uncomfortable. Again the shy, quiet, loner was being put into a world I didn’t want to go in to.  This was all part of Gods plan for my life; this was the start, I just had to be obedient.

Over time, it was at one of these meetings that I learned about the love of Jesus Christ. I learned about the pain He suffered for me. The pain I was feeling was nothing compared to what He endured.  Though in my mind I felt completely alone, I realized that Jesus was always there for me.  In my deepest, darkest place, Jesus was the only light that penetrated through the thick walls around me.

After accepting Jesus, I thought life would become easy as a Christian. Again, I was so wrong!  I still had the same struggles, the same challenges; I still felt the pain of loss. My mind wanted to stay living in that life of quiet desperation.  I even started dabbling in the occult to get answers.  My heart wanted God but my mind still wanted what the world had to offer.  I was continually being pulled back into my old lifestyle and ways of thinking.  I truly believed I would forever be alone and a failure. Yet, Jesus told me otherwise! He was now a part of me and I would never again be alone.

Even with my personal struggles, I did my best to focus on Jesus. The more I focused on Him, the smaller my problems became. Continually seeking Him opened new doors and opportunities. Though some chapters in the book of my life were closed, new chapters started.  He started to transform me… the more I gave of myself to Christ the more he changed me.  Now, I enjoy being around people, am married to a wonderful woman who is my ministry partner and am outgoing and cheerful; I’ve been taken out of my shell!   Now I am serving Him with song and music, as the NC State Chaplain with Bikers for Christ, taking missions trips and as a minister.

Once the shy, timid, scurry around mouse, through Gods guidance and my obedience; I became the man God wanted me to be.

Titus 3:3-7 For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

If God can change my life, especially in the throws of desperation, imagine what He can do in your life.

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